Wedding Wednesday: Engagement Photos

Happy Wedding Wednesday! Today marks just 100 days until our wedding and I couldn't be more excited about life right now.

This past Saturday morning, just one week after our engagement photo shoot, Jonathan was working and to be quite honest, I was being a lazy bum at the house. Just as I was getting motivation to get up and go grocery shopping, I received an email from our photographer with our engagement photos. It was like Christmas morning! I proceeded to spend the next hour or so looking through them, then calling my mom and viewing them again while she looked. I couldn't wait for Jonathan to come home from work so I could show him. We sat down later that afternoon going through the hundreds of proofs we were sent to pick our favorites to share with friends and family.

I wanted to take today and share some of those favorites with you guys. I honestly never thought I'd never have photos like this. They are so fun and flattering and I think they really represent us. Our photographer did an amazing job capturing our relationship and personalities. We were able to get some really good shots at several different spots in downtown Orlando. We couldn't be any happier with the whole experience. Thank you to Lora Rodgers Photography for capturing us so beautifully!

 

What do you think? Did you have an engagement photo session? How did you incorporate the photos into your big day?

Linking up for Wedding Wednesday!

It's Good. It's Really Good.

Have you ever been in the middle of something and suddenly it occurs to you how freaking awesome it is that you're doing whatever you are doing in that moment? That you're exactly where you hoped you'd be one day?

I've been staying at Jonathan's all week while I finished up everything at my house and whatnot. I stopped at the grocery store on my way there after work yesterday to pick up a few things for dinner and as I was walking through the aisles, grabbing all the necessities for chicken Parmesan, I couldn't help but smile to myself.

It may sound silly, but I can't explain how happy I felt in that moment, just picking up groceries for dinner. Just knowing I have this wonderful man waiting at home, someone to cook for, someone to sit down at the dinner table and talk about my day with...this all means so much to me. In the years leading up to this time in my life, it wasn't elaborate dinners out or getting a fancy engagement ring I longed for, it was simple things like having a man I love call me asking when I'm going to be home. It was standing over the stove cooking pasta and having that man come up behind me and wrap his arms around me. It was me getting out of my car and walking up our driveway to the man I adore working away in the garage.

This photo has nothing to do with this post, but I couldn't not include a photo.

With all the chaos in life lately, I just want to take a minute and truly soak in these simple little things that make me overwhelmed with joy that I've got all I ever wanted out of this life.

I've got a life full of absolute joy and love with a man I absolutely cherish. It's good. It's really good.

it's a new day.

Hi, remember me?

I know it's been pretty quiet around here lately. 

With the wedding less than 4 months away and trying to coordinate the sale of my house, along with moving out of it, the thought of sitting down to blog hasn't been very appealing.

Honestly, I've let it all become too much to handle. My coping skills have gone completely out the window and to make matters worse, Jonathan has been feeling the same way. We are both at our limit right now, that's for sure. He's working 6 days a week and his one day off is typically spent in our wedding prep class, attending some wedding related meeting, making wedding decisions, etc.

Outside of work, my free time has been spent going through my house trying to figure out what to throw away, what I need to put in storage, what I can go ahead and move over to Jonathan's until the wedding, what I am going to bring to my parents' house while I stay with them for the next few months and what to give away. Switching gears from wedding planning, to house packing, to negotiating closing details has just been making my head spin.

We are both keeping things in perspective knowing that all the stress now is for a much greater cause and will be so worth it. We absolutely cannot wait to be married on January 3 and we know that the headache-inducing decisions we are making on what we think are silly things like linens, cups, table sizes, etc., are all going to be so worth the headaches when we are celebrating with our loved ones the day we are married. We know this. We know the sale of my house so quickly is an absolute gift from God. We'll be extra thankful when we come home from our honeymoon and don't have to deal with the stress of selling/renting/moving out of my house. We know this.

That doesn't mean we don't let everything get to us now and again. Our coping skills aren't where they should be because we are just weighed down by everything going on in our lives. There have been so many times lately where I've let a small hiccup get me so upset and worked up. In those moments, it's like I'm watching myself and thinking, "This isn't  you. You're better than this. You don't let things like this get you down. Who are you and what have you done with the optimistic, happy, rainbows and sunshine Amanda you used to be?"

I can recognize that I'm not dealing with things as I should be, that the stress I'm under is making it difficult for me to cope as I normally would. I can also recognize that this doesn't mean I've changed or become someone I didn't want to be. This isn't permanent. I know they'll always be something to stress about and worry is a part of life, but I need to not carry the burden of that stress and worry. I need to have faith and understanding that everything will be okay and my worrying won't make a bit of difference in the outcome.

The good news?  In just a few days, I'll hand over the keys to my house and with it, much of my stress and anxiety will be gone. The stress of being a landlord and friend, the stress of HOA payments, the stress of trying to keep up with the needs of a house I only spend a few days a week at. This will be gone. Sure, you can bet I'll shed a tear over this chapter of my life coming to a close, but that's another post for another day.

I'm really looking forward to the time I'll spend at my parents' house over the next few months, spending the hour or so before bedtime reading or relaxing rather than cleaning out my garage and being able to truly enjoy the final stages of planning our wedding since my focus won't be on my house anymore.

The even better part? This is all leading up to starting the new year marrying the absolute man of my dreams, moving in with him, making his home our home and enjoying life as husband and wife.

What I'm also trying to say here is that I'm back. I want to get back to writing regularly and enjoying it. I'm looking forward to filling you all in on some more wedding details and share everything else I've been up to. I really do love this blog and I'm excited to be able to make this a priority again.

I hope you're all doing well!

Remember when I got engaged then disappeared for a whole week?

First of all, thank you all so much for your sweet comments and well wishes on our engagement. We are absolutely thrilled and cannot wait to be married!

One thing is for sure...this blog has been the last thing on my mind since our engagement on June 29. See, just a few days in I learned our dream venue was pretty booked up and I just didn't want to settle on a new place. So we booked the venue for January 3, 2014 and jumped right into wedding planning madness.

I know 6 months to plan a wedding is a lot to take on, and we were both a little overwhelmed at first, but we can totally do this. Neither one of us wants an extravagant wedding and January works best with Jonathan's work schedule. He can easily take time off for the wedding and honeymoon without it impacting his business too much. We don't want a long engagement. We're ready to celebrate our wedding with the people we love and start our life together. Why wait?

After a week of planning, we've already chosen our venue, picked our colors, placed our cupcake order, narrowed down our photographer options, chosen our wedding party, created our guest list, ordered Save The Dates and chosen our officiant. I'd say we've got it under control so far. We have lots of smaller details to figure out like flowers, centerpieces, etc., but here are a few things that have caught my eye.

I like the blue vases for centerpieces.

I need these.

We have so many people who love us and are jumping in to help us plan. I have a day scheduled in a few weeks to shop for dresses with my mom and bridesmaids and we are taking care of the big decisions early so we can focus on the small details in the next few months.

At the end of the day, I know if we stay focused on our relationship and doing what is right for us, we'll have an absolutely perfect wedding day. I found this on Pinterest a while back and it's the mindset I'm sticking to when it comes to planning our wedding.

So many times throughout the past week, I've found myself staring down at this perfectly gorgeous engagement ring and I'm overwhelmed with love and joy. I honestly cannot wait to become wife to this wonderful, wonderful man. The best is really yet to be :)

You have my whole heart for my whole life.

Happy Monday everyone! I've been working on this post all morning, but I keep getting distracted by the gorgeous engagement ring on my left hand.

Jonathan proposed over the weekend! 

Needless to say, I was absolutely shocked. We have talked about the future a lot but I had no idea when he would pop the question.

We've had plans for several weeks now to visit my parents over the weekend. They bought a new house a few months ago and invited everyone up for the housewarming party. The party was Saturday and we spent the day hanging around the pool and around the bar my dad built in their dining room.

Later in the afternoon, while we were all standing around the bar, he grabbed my hand and told me he wanted to make a toast to my parents and their new house. He started his toast by talking about how wonderful my family is and then starts talking about how special I am. This is about the time I started rolling my eyes and getting mad at him for making the toast about me when we are celebrating my parents' housewarming. His voice started to crack as he said he started saying he doesn't know how he could ever live without me and this is when I realize this isn't just a toast to my mom and dad anymore.

Then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. This handsome, loving, sweet, supportive, funny, kind man proposed to me. I obviously said yes and kissed my future husband as my family celebrated around us. This will forever be one of the best moments of my life.

I've never really had a particular scenario in mind when I thought about getting engaged, but I can't tell you how special it was for my family to be there for this. Seeing my mother's reaction is something I will always remember and I'm so thankful for that.

With all the more reason to celebrate, the party went on and we all had an absolute blast. I was sure to FaceTime my older sister right away since she lives in Buffalo and wasn't able to be part of it. We snuck off to my parents' bedroom to call her and before going back out to join the party, we took a few minutes to ourselves to let it sink in before heading back out to join the rest of the party.

I am absolutely overwhelmed with joy right now. I can't believe this is my life. I don't know what I did to deserve this wonderful love but I thank God for bringing him into my life.

So, how was your weekend?

Linking up with Sami for Weekend Shenanigans

Birthday Weekend Recap & My Birthday List

Happy Monday everyone! I have lots to tell you about after spending the weekend celebrating my 27th birthday and Mother's Day. It was a jam-packed weekend full of family and friends...it was just wonderful. As I do every year, I also have my annual birthday list to share!

First, let me tell you about Saturday. My birthday was on Sunday and not wanting to take away from Mother's Day celebrations, I decided to celebrate on Saturday. Instead of stressing myself out trying to plan a dinner and night out with friends and family, we decided to host a BBQ at Jonathan's house to celebrate my birthday. This way, whoever wanted to come could come and I wouldn't have to stress about making reservations and planning a night out. It was the perfect plan in my book. 

My parents, Jonathan's entire family, my siblings, my best friend, Taryn and tons of our friends showed up and it was such a blast. This was the first time our families were spending some time together and it was also Jonathan's first time meeting my best friend. Most importantly, our families hit it off perfectly and Jonathan and Taryn get along great. Having all of my favorite people in one place made me one happy girl. 

Jonathan gave me the absolute perfect gift...a key to his house. I've been spending most weekends there and have really come to consider it home. Giving me my own key was such a sweet gesture and I couldn't be happier with where we're at in our relationship.

So glad to have my momma there!

Best friend meets boyfriend.

After a long day of celebrating, we were ready for bed.

Sunday, after spending as long as possible snuggling Jonathan, I hit the rode for my parents' house for the day to celebrate Mother's Day. After going to lunch and getting in some quality time with my parents, I headed home to Jonathan's to enjoy the last bit of such a wonderful weekend. I couldn't be happier ending my birthday with a quiet night at home with my love.

And now, I bring you this year's birthday list. If you've been following along for a while, each year I come up with a different birthday list. My 25th birthday was a list of 25 lessons I've learned so far. For my 26th birthday, I came up with a birthday day bucket list. I kind of struggled coming up with a theme this year. I wanted to do 27 random acts of kindness, but didn't really get it planned out in time. I've been thinking a lot about how so many people my age freak out about getting older and it drives me nuts. I still feel so young and still feel like I have so much to learn and look forward to. Because of all this, I've decided to share a list of things I still need to learn. Here goes...I still don't know:

1.    How to dance (hey, just because I love to dance doesn’t mean I am good at it)

2.    My alcohol limits; when I need to stop drinking to avoid being a disaster

3.    CPR

4.    How to use a really nice camera

5.    How to go around making people smile all day and still pay my bills

6.    How to French or fishtail braid my own hair

7.    How to curl my own hair

8.    Okay, just how to do my hair in general

9.    The difference between hungry and bored

10.  How to leave the house without obsessively checking to make sure I turned off the straightener 

11.  How to cook eggs other than scrambled. Sunny side-up, omelets, over-easy, over-hard...I don't know how to do any of this successfully. 

12.  To speak my mind without worrying how people will react

13.  How to change a tire

14.  How to relax

15.  To have more patience 

16.  How to fold a fitted sheet 

17.  How to give a toast without crying

18.  How to argue without getting upset

19.  How to check my oil

20.  How to stop throwing a bunch of random crap in my purse. The other day I had two forks in my purse. Completely unnecessary. 

21.  How to get my dog and Jonathan's cat to get along

22.  How to get Blake more well-trained

23.  How to leave for work without driving back home to make sure I shut the garage door

24.  How to "do" my make up aside from the basic mascara and eye liner I wear most days
25.  How to pack more efficiently. I don't need 12 shirts for one weekend at Jonathan's, honestly.

26.  How to get mad. When I get mad, I just get sad and sometimes that doesn't help.

27.  How to do a cartwheel 

 

I've learned so much about myself and life in the last few years and I know there are still so many lessons to learn. I can't wait to see what wonderful things this year will bring. Cheers to 27 years!

Linking up with Sami for Weekend Shenanigans!

Times are Changing

I'm so utterly fascinated with life. We spend so long talking about, dreaming of, envisioning what our future is going to be like. We think about meeting the person we want to spend our lives with, we wonder when we'll stop settling for less than we deserve and start to settle down, when we'll start cooking more dinners and having less wild nights out. Then suddenly one day you realize all this stuff isn't some far off reality anymore. You realize you are there. It isn't something you are hoping for, planning on, dreaming of...it's something you are living.

This is where I am. Over the past 3 years (almost), I have documented just about everything that led me to this place on this blog and I have loved every second of it. I've shared, sometimes in too much detail, my search for love; real love. I've shared my adventures and thoughts on who I am, what I stand for, what moves me, the mark I want to leave on this world. I've shared the "rainbows" and "storms" in my life and this blog has helped me survive the storms.

I didn't start a blog to be the next big thing in blogging, to turn it into a career or to make lots of money. I blog because I love to write. On a bad day, I can write and somehow sort out how I'm feeling. On a good day, I can soak in the joy I'm feeling by writing about it. I love documenting things and I love looking back on them later and being taken right back to the moment. This is why I blog.

With that being said, I feel like I am In a state of transition. I've found the love of my life and now rather than sharing my dating adventures, I want to share my thoughts on relationship dynamics and things I'm learning as I begin to build a life with someone. I still want to write about the fun things I do, embarrassing stories about my drinking too much, my thoughts on life and how I found a quote on Pinterest that really made my day.

Unfortunately, because of certain things I've written about, I've kept this blog pretty separate from most of my friends and family. I write on here under my nickname, Millie and I don't link my posts to Facebook or anything.

At this point in my life, I want to open the blog up to everyone, but would need to basically go in and delete posts I wouldn't want everyone to read. I would start a completely new blog, but there are so many non-dating related posts that I am really proud of and wouldn't want to lose. I also may not have a huge following on here, but I don't want to lose that either. I know I want to change the title and design, but I'm a little stumped on what to change it to right now.

Needless to say, I'm a little overwhelmed with where to/how to go from here. I'm also really excited about moving forward and making these changes. I hope you'll continue to follow along no matter what changes I make and please, any insight, feedback or ideas you might have on my next step, please share them with me.

As always, thank you for reading along. The fact that anyone is interested in what I write really means a lot to me. xoxo

Shootin' guns n' drinkin' beers

As per usual, here goes my weekend recap on Tuesday...hope you all had a happy weekend!

We hit the road early Saturday morning headed to the Ocala National Forest to camp for the night. It was an adventure, that's for sure! I should probably tell you ahead of time that instead of reserving a designated campsite, we the boys decided to go off on our own and find our own spot to camp in the forest. After driving in the middle of nowhere for a while, we turned down a random dirt road to find a spot to camp.

About a mile and a half up the dirt road, we got stuck, really stuck. At this point, Jonathan's friend's truck had already gotten stuck and we were actually turning around to find a spot where the road wasn't so hard to drive through. The boys spent about 2 hours trying to dig Jonathan's back tire out of the sand.



Off to a great start!



After calling a few different towing companies, we finally found someone who was willing and able to drive the 45 minutes to tow us out. The tow truck driver asked us to meet him back at the main road since we couldn't give him a very good idea of where we were. Doing what any good girlfriend would do, I joined Jonathan for the 1+ mile walk to the main road so he wouldn't have to go alone.

I will tell you one thing...I definitely underestimated how far we had driven. It was hot. I had to pee. It was all a little unfortunate, but Jonathan and I held hands and chatted the whole way, stopping to take pictures and whatnot. It was nice to see that even when the situation isn't ideal, he can still enjoy himself and not let it ruin his day.

We sat by the side of the road long enough to snap a few pictures before I had to give in and pee in the woods. I knew I would have to do it sooner or later, so I ran into the woods while Jonathan waited for the tow truck. Of course, it's just my luck that mid-pee, he would start yelling at me telling me the tow truck was there!

$250 dollars and a few hours later, we were finally settled at our campsite and ready to relax! The best part of this is that everyone was still in such good spirits by the time we got settled. I know a lot of people in my life who would let an inconvenience like getting stuck ruin their fun. Not this group. Don't get me wrong, we were all so very glad to be done with that part of our adventure, but everyone was still psyched to be there and we were all able to laugh about it. I'm really glad Jonathan's friends are like this.

We spent the afternoon drinking, chatting, shooting guns and we even flew a kite. The kite...let me tell you about that. It must've been our 2nd or 3rd date that I mentioned to Jonathan that I've been wanting to fly a kite...I don't think I've brought it up since. It was the sweetest thing when we were setting up our campsite and he handed me a Barbie kite he bought for me. I don't know how I didn't notice it when we were packing up the truck, but he is always surprising me in a smallest and most thoughtful ways.

I think my man was pretty impressed with my shooting skills. The boys had set up a few targets (beer bottles and a few cans) in a tree and I shot both bottles!

Needless to say, we had a blast! I handled the outdoors pretty well, if I do say so myself. Jonathan even commented on this the next night saying "You didn't complain once!" Don't get me wrong, you can bet that as soon as we got back to his place, I hit the shower and we spent the afternoon/evening cuddled in his bed, only leaving long enough to go to his parents' for dinner. I had a blast roughing it for a night, but it was good to be home!

Tell me...

Do you enjoy camping? What's your ideal camping trip like?

Weekend Recap with a side of Ice Cream

Happy Tuesday!

I don't know what is with me but I can't stop thinking about ice cream. I had an ice cream sundae last night before heading to the gym...that was a big mistake. Now I'm sitting at my desk really wanting frozen yogurt or one of those cookie ice cream sandwiches. Why can't I have a celery obsession this week? Why does it have to be ice cream?

Anyway, I hope you all had a great weekend. We spent the weekend at Jonathan's house and after waking up for an early morning run, we threw an impromptu barbeque on Saturday. I can always count on my Pinterest board for a last minute recipe and whipped up these babies with plenty of time to spare before anyone showed up:

Funfetti Cake Batter Cookies

These were super easy to make and were a big hit! We had a blast playing horseshoes, day drinking and hanging around with Jonathan's friends and family. Unfortunately for me, day drinking makes for an early bedtime. We were in bed by 10:30 and I didn't mind it at all.

With no plans on Sunday, we stayed in bed until about noon. Normally I would feel a little guilty about this, but it was absolutely glorious. It feels like we always have plans or a reason to get up at a certain hour when we are together, so it was nice to just lay around together. By the time we finally got up, we were able to squeeze in some bowling and a few games of pool before I headed home.

I should probably add that my boyfriend who is in a bowling league and is so legit with his own bowling ball and whatnot learned that I do not bowl well. I think after the first game his score was somewhere in the 180s and mine was 35. Yep. I also managed to throw a bowling backward on one of my turns. Luckily, no one was injured and Jonathan got to see just how bad I really am at bowling.

With Jonathan and I living about 40 minutes apart, I love spending our weekends together. It's nice to have the uninterrupted time together without driving back and forth to see each other and I love waking up with him in the morning. It's been interesting to see our relationship evolve as we spend our weekends together. I actually want to write a separate post on it because it's all so new for me.

Anyway, I'm already counting down for this weekend. We're waking up early on Saturday to head to the Ocala National Forest to go camping. We'll be roughing it with some of Jonathan's friends and my roomie for the night. I'm not super outdoorsy, but I've been dying to go camping for a while. I absolutely can't wait!

Hope your week is off to a happy start!

Lessons Learned from too Much Wine out of a Mason Jar

Happy Monday! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

We spent the weekend at my parents' house and went to a wedding on Saturday. I absolutely loved spending so much time with my parents and the wedding was on a farm and an absolute blast.

 As with any social occasion that involves alcohol, I've come away with a few important lessons and feel that it is my duty to share them with you all:

-Even if you are in a happy relationship with a man who loves you a lot, when you arrive at a wedding and shout "I want to get married here!" your boyfriend is probably still going to say, "Woah! Slow down there." Calm down everyone, I didn't say "I want to get married here tomorrow!"

-When you are drinking wine out of a mason jar and the bartender fills the jar to the top everytime you get a refill, drink slowly or before you know it, you've had 1 and 1/2 bottles of wine, a shot of crown and you become a drunken mess who is being mean to your sweet boyfriend for no reason.

-If that boyfriend still loves you the next day after you've thrown his phone, likely embarrassed yourself in front of his family and needed him to take care of you when you got sick from drinking too much, don't ever let him go.

-If you also find out that he took your makeup off for you (while you cried and asked him not to break up with you) and helped you change into pajamas in your drunken, sick state, yet he tells you that he loves you more than ever the next day, close your eyes and thank God you found him.

-Drinking heavily does, in fact, help you survive wearing really uncomfortable heels all night. After a while, you don't even notice you are wearing shoes at all.

-Even though you may have had too much to drink, embarrassed yourself a bit and turned into a hot mess, at one point in the night, you were having an absolute blast and this is what is most important about situations like that.

I hope your weekend was just as much fun (and a little less embarrassing) as mine!

Sweet Treats and DIY Gifts for my Valentine

Whether you are single, married or in a relationship, I hope you are still celebrating all the love in your life today. You don't need to be in a happy relationship to enjoy today, just take a moment and think about all the wonderful people you've been blessed with and you'll realize you have plenty to celebrate.

I know a lot of people say they don't feel like there should be just one day to show the person you love how important they are, that it should be an everyday thing. Agreed. However, I do believe that if you happen to have someone special in your life, why not at least recognize the day?

With that being said, I don't make a big deal out of it. I don't expect Jonathan to make a big production out of it, either. I'm just looking forward to spending a nice evening together. I would hate to know that he stressed even a little bit over what to buy me, what to plan, how to surprise me, etc. I also wouldn't want to stress over what to do for him. I've always been a big fan of "it's the thought that counts" gifts and this Valentine's Day, that is exactly what I did...

I treat every holiday as an excuse to bake and Valentine's Day is no different. I swear, you just can't go wrong giving baked goods as gifts for your man. This year, I made red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe to give to Jonathan.

While I knew he would love this and it would be more than enough, I was feeling ambitious, so I also put together a gift basket of some of his favorite snacks and things. I thought this would be a good way to present the cookies and cupcakes, while also being a sweet, thoughtful gift that wouldn't break the bank. I bought the basket, wrap and gift tag at World Market (which is my new favorite store) and bought everything else separate so I could include what I knew he would like. There are so many different things you could include, but to keep it simple, here's what I put in Jonathan's basket:

-A random selection of beer
-A bottle of wine for us to enjoy tonight
-homemade cupcakes and cookies packaged in treat bags and a cupcake tin
-beef jerky (I will never understand it, but he loves this stuff)
-Sour Patch Kids, circus peanuts and gummy worms (some of his favorite candy)

 

To stick with the homemade theme, I also skipped the card aisle at Target and made him a homemade valentine. I could've found so many great cards to give him at the store, but I'm so much more excited to give him something made just for him by me. I'm not super crafty, so I kept this pretty simple, but I'm happy with how it came out. It was also nice to take the time to come up with a sweet message for Jonathan's card instead of something already written for me.

This is the front of the card. When we met for the first time,
I had a string of Christmas lights wrapped around me,
so I thought it'd be cute to play off that. On the other side, I wrote a sweet note 
basically telling him how thankful I am to have him in my life.

I've always loved the idea of homemade, DIY gifts, but I rarely put the thought and time into making them. I'm so glad I went this route for Valentine's Day though. It was fun to put all this together for Jonathan and even though it's a simple gift, I know he is going to love it. I can't wait to get over there tonight for a relaxing evening with my man.

I hope you all have a happy day and take time to appreciate all the love in your life.

Tell me...

Do you prefer homemade gifts or would you rather buy something ready to go? How are you celebrating Valentine's Day?

Love found us.

Yesterday was just another day. Another wonderful day, but still...just another day. I absolutely couldn't wait to head to Jonathan's house after work. We didn't have elaborate plans...just to go for a run, go rock climbing...something active. Instead, when I got there we both decided we weren't up for all that so we relaxed for a bit and planned to see a movie later in the evening.

Later on, we got in my car to head to the movies. In the driver's seat, Jonathan sat there sorting through his mail as I texted my roomie something about how I was probably going to stay at Jonathan's for the night. There we sat in the driveway, me texting away not really paying attention to anything else...when out of nowhere he blurts it out..."I love you."

Before I share what happened next, I should probably tell you that I kinda already said this to him last weekend. I say "kinda" because (1) I had a few too many drinks downtown that night and (2) up until last night I wasn't sure if I had actually said it or I had simply dreamt that I said it to him. I hadn't said anything to him after the fact because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable if he wasn't ready or anything.

To be honest, I have been holding myself back from saying it for a few weeks now. What can I say? When I fall, I really fall. I've been falling in love with him since our first date when he knocked on the door of my favorite frozen yogurt place begging them to let me in after they'd already closed. I don't know the exact moment I went from falling in love to being in love...but I've known for a few weeks now that I'm absolutely in love with this guy.

I obviously didn't want to say those words to him too soon and certainly didn't want to drunkenly blurt them out, but there is no doubt about the fact that I absolutely meant it.

So back to the driveway...

He says it and I can't really believe what I just heard. I slowly look up from my phone and say "Did you mean to say that?" He laughs and says of course he meant to say it. "I love you." He said it again. Here we are on a Tuesday night just sitting in the driveway and this man manages to make me feel like I could stay here, in this car, in this moment, forever. I obviously tell him I love him too, give him a big, smiley kiss and we finally pull out of the driveway and head to the movies. Just like that.

A funny part of all this is that I proceeded to text Natasha right after this (I had been texting her when it happened) and the conversation that follows is seriously one of my favorites ever. We were both too excited to type apparently because this stops making sense at one point.

Yes, she is talking about my dog, Blake

Only a best friend gets just as excited as you do about this kind of thing. I love her!

For the record, I cleared things up later last night by asking if I drunkenly said I love you the other night and he confirmed that I did. I did say it. Of course I did. To be honest, though, I wasn't freaking out too much. After all, if I had said it, he didn't run away or anything so no harm done and I knew if anything, at least he would know where my head was at when he was ready to put his feelings out there.

I'm in love with someone who truly deserves my love and affection. The best part? This wonderful human being loves me right back. He doesn't just say this, he shows it and we show each other every day. I've never felt so safe and secure in love. I'm overjoyed beyond belief.

P.S. I promise to get back to other topics around these parts eventually. This relationship has overwhelmed me in the very best way, so bear with me while I soak it all in and I promise to start mixing it up soon.

This

"Thank God for all I missed, 'cause it led me here to this."

That's a line from a Darius Rucker song called, "This" that I love. It's basically about being glad for the opportunities you missed, relationships that didn't work out, things that didn't go your way, because it led you to something better...it led you to this. Well, I can certainly relate and I'm thanking God every day for the ups and downs that led me to this....



You ladies have heard it all here. I've fought hard to keep disappointing men in my life, I've gotten my heart broken, I've completely wasted my time and energy on the wrong people, I've made some bad choices. Throughout all of this, I knew deep down that I would find someone. Not just any someone...but someone that would be the right one for me...someone that would show me why it didn't work out with anyone else. I knew that someone would make me let go of any frustration, disappointment or self-criticism I felt over the journey I took to find him. Well, I did find him and it really is true...the road I took to get here is of no concern to me. It was all worth it because if I had done something different, what if I hadn't been downtown acting silly on a random Saturday in December to spot this wonderful man sitting at the bar? I wouldn't have met him and I sure wouldn't be falling head over heels right now for someone I am quite positive is the perfect person for me.

What I'm really trying to get at here is that I am falling for that handsome guy up there. The best part of this? He is falling, too. We are in this together...we're on the same page...we're two peas in a pod...okay, you probably get it by now. I'm well aware of how early it is in our relationship to feel this way, but I am more confident in my feelings knowing we are on the same page.

I always knew I would meet him eventually. I'm so glad I found this. So very glad.

What I'm Doing Right

I only made one New Year's resolution and I don't have a handwritten list of goals I want to accomplish and when I want to accomplish them by (although maybe I should).

I do, however, have things I know I want to improve on and I get really excited when I feel like I am headed in the right direction. I'm also not perfect and there are things I know I need to get better about like waking up earlier in the mornings and budgeting.

I could constantly stress about the things I want to do, fix, change, etc., but today I want to talk about the things I'm doing right these days. Yes, it might be less than a month into the year, but I'm celebrating these successes so far:

- Cooking. I feel like every year I tell myself I am going to start cooking more, but I never actually follow through. This has a lot to do with Jonathan, as we've been facing the kitchen together to make some really successful dinners, but I'm finally starting to cook more often. I love the quality time and fun of cooking with my man, but it's also helping me stick to a fairly healthy diet and helping me find recipes I can make on a regular basis on my own.

- Taking my vitamins and supplements. In the past, I have been absolutely terrible at taking my vitamins on a daily basis. I don't have the strongest immune system, so I really should be doing anything I can to keep my body healthy. Earlier this month, I stocked up on daily women's vitamins and B-12 supplements (after my doctor told me I had really low levels of this) and so far I've been great about taking both of these after breakfast each day.

- Staying in shape. Against all odds, I was able to keep up a somewhat regular workout routine during the holidays and whatnot. Normally, that's when I completely fall of the wagon and don't seem to make it back on after the holidays. Even though I've lost a little bit of my momentum, especially when it comes to my running, I've still kept it pretty regular and my weight is still down drastically from August when I started working out regularly again. Working out and staying active is still a priority and I'm especially glad that Jonathan and I are incorporating this stuff into our time together. I haven't ever really been with someone I worked out with, but it's nice to be able to get quality time together by going for a run or bike ride.

- Being less frantic. This was my one and only New Year's resolution and I can honestly say there hasn't been one time I've been frantic all month. I feel like a strange sense of peace has come over me. Don't get me wrong...I still have too many things I'd like to do each day and I still get overwhelmed (in a good way) and excited about little thing. I just dont let myself stress myself out and rush around frantically. I'm being more realistic about what I can do each day, how long it will take me to get ready to go somewhere and reminding myself that it's okay to slow down and do the best I can.

- Saying what I feel, want, need, think. This has a lot to with the fact that I am finally with the right person for me, but I have been able to say whatever is on my mind, to Jonathan especially, without fear of being rejected, shushed, ignored, etc. I can tell him that I miss him, that I'm worried, that my feelings are hurt, that I think he is the most amazing man and he doesn't panic. He doesn't shut me out or disregard my feelings, no matter how cheesy or unreasonable they might be. He actually wants to hear what is on my mind. The best part is that he is the same way with me. We communicate and because of that, there is a comfort and closeness between us that I have certainly never experienced. This might be why I feel so peaceful these days...I don't have thoughts floating around in my head that I am afraid to vocalize.

Getting a few good things like this in place can only motivate me to keep it up and work on improving other areas. 2013 has started off on such a bright and positive note and I can't wait to see what else is in store.

Have you ever had this strange feeling that everything in your life is settling perfectly into place? Like you were always happy and things were always good, but suddenly everything was beyond your imagination? It is such a wonderful feeling. I'm overwhelmed in the very best way.

Tell me...

What are you doing right so far this year? How are your resolutions coming along?

You can never have too much happy.

You'll have to excuse the excessive optimism I am giving off lately. I am over the moon happy and I'm loving every minute. For example, I've found myself smiling for no apparent reason and I shed a few happy tears simply sitting at my desk daydreaming about how wonderful my weekend was.

I feel like I could go on for days about all the simple, magical, wonderful moments of pure joy I've felt over the past few days, but I'll try to simply cover the highlights here.

I packed a bag for me and a bag for Blake on Friday and we headed off to spend most of the weekend at J's house. This was my first time bringing my puppy love to Jonathan's house and we both weren't quite sure how he would hit it off with J's cat, Money. I'll cut to the chase and say they didn't hit it off. At all. Blake wanted to play. Money was scared for his life. It was a nightmare and we had to keep them separated all weekend. I only tell you all of this because I have to say...if this is the biggest issue with our relationship so far, then we are pretty darn lucky.

Moving on...we had a great Friday night enjoying a home cooked dinner with Jonathan's sister and his friend, then heading out for a few drinks. I love that we can go out on the town and have a great time socializing, but I love it even more that this man can't wait to get home so we can enjoy our time alone as well. We had such a fun and relaxing night and ended up staying up until 3 a.m. talking about everything under the sun.

Saturday morning we went on a bike ride to the farmer's market and took Blake along with us. I wish I got a picture of Jonathan riding his bike with Blake running alongside him, but here is one of me. It was so nice to start the day off this way.

I ran The Color Run yesterday (I'll get to that soon!) and had to make a tutu to match the rest of the girls on my team, so we spent the afternoon out and about getting the materials I needed, meeting up with J's parents and sister for a late lunch and headed home to attempt a homemade tutu. I can't find words to express how special it is to have a man who not only helped me with this, but was happy to help and be a part of it. I'm not the most crafty girl out there and had no clue what I was doing. Even shopping in Joann Fabrics to get the supplies was a task. But he helped. With everything. He cut strips of tulle while I tied them on the elastic. Then he helped me tie and finish the tutu. When we were about to crawl into bed that night and I remembered I wanted to cut a little length off of it, he had me put it on and twirl while he cut it for me. We are a team and I love that about us. I also have to mention that I am falling for his family, as well. They are so welcoming and easy to get to know.

After our tutu project, we spent the evening hanging with a few of his good friends I hadn't gotten to meet yet. I planned to go back to my house and sleep there since I had to get up early for the race, but I honestly couldn't leave him. Laying in bed that night, we talked until we couldn't keep our eyes open any longer. We talked about how happy we were with each other and when then he asked me to promise we'll always be positive for each other...always lift the other person up instead of bringing them down. When he said all of this...I just closed my eyes and thanked God for everything that led me to this wonderful human being.

Needless to say, I am absolutely overwhelmed in the best way possible.

Speaking of happiness overload...

The Color Run was an absolute blast! It really is the happiest 5K on the planet. If you have a chance, I definitely recommend signing up if it comes to your city. It's so much fun!

Before and after the race with Laura

Seriously...have you ever seen someone this happy after 3.1 miles?

To say I'm feeling blessed is a huge understatement. One thing about life I love: whether I'm doing something new and exciting like The Color Run or simple things like riding bikes and taking Blake for a walk, with the right people, every minute is absolute perfection.

Smitten Kitten

I seem to be having a bit of trouble getting out of bed this morning afternoon. See, I've spent the last 36 hours with Jonathan and ever since he left this morning, I've just been sitting here basking in the peacefulness and joy I feel right now. 

On Friday night after discussing the fact that neither of us were seeing anyone else, we were laying in bed when he said, "So, are we exclusive then?" I obviously said yes and can't put into words how relieved I was to know that he wants what I want. Like everything else with us has been so far, this conversation was easy, natural and comfortable. We proceeded to spend the most delightfully relaxing weekend together shopping for a new dog bed for Blake, him helping me fix a few things around the house and cooking dinner together last night. The comfort and happiness I feel doing normal, everyday things with this man makes me feel so good about us.

I am absolutely smitten and so happy to say I am in a relationship that was so worth the wait.

I hope you are all having a fabulous Sunday, too! Enjoy what's left of the weekend!

The Start of Something Good

I'm a little nervous to say everything I'm about to say because it is a little soon to be making bold statements about the new man in my life. I don't want to jinx myself because this whole thing is feeling too good to be true, but I just have to fill you in!

You might remember before the holiday I mentioned meeting a new man downtown after I ran the Tap n' Run. Last you heard, he brought me flowers, called me on the phone and we had a great time on our first date.

Despite me being at my parents' for a few days, we've managed to see quite a bit of each other since then. He lives in Lake Mary, which is about 40 minutes from my house. I drove out there last week for a movie night.

While at my parents' for Christmas, he called me every day to say hi and chat for a few minutes. What? Someone wants to hear my voice everyday? Someone who doesn't go days without contacting me? Someone who was counting down the days until I came home? Is this real life?

I showed him around my side of town last night and I'll be staying there tonight before hitting the road to Jacksonville in the morning. We've fallen into what feels like such a normal relationship so effortlessly. It just happens. There is nothing to analyze. No one is trying to play games. The feelings are mutual. There is a level of comfort that I haven't felt with someone in a long time. I think I've mistakenly said that before, but this...this feels comfortable. I can say what's on my mind whether it is too cheesy, too honest, or unreasonable without feeling like he is going to reject it.

 

I am totally surprised by this whole situation. I've never met someone in a bar setting that actually seemed like it could be a normal, viable relationship. I know it's so early to be saying all of this, but I can't help but feel giddy and optimistic. I don't know where this is going to go, but I feel really good about it right now!

Flowers & a Man Who Actually Called me on the Phone. Is This Real Life?

Hello world. I've been stuck in bed with a nasty cold all week, but yet somehow a lot has happened. This cold couldn't have come at a worse time. I still have Christmas gifts to buy, errands to run before my holiday trips and my workout schedule has been completely thrown off.

In the midst of all this, I absolutely need to post something here because things has taken an interesting turn in the last few days.

I met a really handsome guy downtown last weekend. If your single, you know that 9 times out of 10 when you meet a guy at a bar, the chances that (1) you'll actually hear from him and (2) that you'll actually want to get to know him outside of that environment, aren't very good. Nevermind the fact that you probably had a conversation about nothing at the bar and may not even remember it. Well this guy seemed a little different from the get-go. He bought me a beer and he asked about my job, my favorite books...not the typical "so, where are you from?" conversation most guys go with.

I was surprised to get a text from him Monday and even more surprised that he asked me out to dinner Tuesday night. Then something amazing happened. He picked up the phone and called me to make dinner plans. I can't tell you how refreshing it was to skip the weeks of awkward texting conversation that inevitably end up happening with guys I meet. I feel like so many guys (or maybe just the ones end up interested in) hide behind Facebook chat, texting...anything to avoid picking up the phone and talking like a normal human being. Getting an actual phone call from someone I had just met was such a treat!

Anyway, we met for dinner on Tuesday night and had a great time! Things that made me think I might like this one:

-when I walked up to meet him at the restaraunt, he shouted "You look beautiful!" I'm not one of those girls who needs to be told that all the time, but I've also dated too many people recently who couldn't even tell me they liked me, so it was nice to hear this from him.

-he brought me flowers. What? I haven't gotten flowers from a guy in years. We walked to his truck after dinner to get his jacket (which he made me wear because it was chilly and I was getting sick) and he pulled them out and handed them to me. It was sweet and thoughtful and not over-the-top cheesy. I didn't know how to react!

-I didn't feel like we were on a first date at all. The way he talked with me was like he had known me for a long time. It was comfortable and fun without the first date awkwardness that I am all too familiar with.

We ended the night with frozen yogurt and plans to see each other again tonight. I'm excited and pleasantly surprised by this whole situation.

I think I posted this quote on a blog post a while back, but it rings true for so many things in life including my relationships with people. I can't dwell on people who don't want to be in my life. I need to look forward and put my energy toward the people who want to be here.

I've had a tough time lately finally getting up the courage to speak my mind to people who haven't treated me fairly. I'm realizing when I stop putting my thoughts and energy toward people who don't deserve it from me, I make room for people to come in my life who do deserve my attention.

Unfortunately, this is a lesson I keep having to learn. I'll get it down eventually, but in the meantime, I'm excited to see what happens next. I just hope I'm feeling better in time for my date this evening!