Boo.

Gary told me tonight that he has feelings for someone else. We broke up. I really thought we had something here. Ugh.

So, how did that whole “2011 Wish List” turn out?

There is SO much I want to catch you up on! I haven’t taken the time to post about any of this stuff, but I still want to tell you about my Christmas, gush about how my happy relationship, brag about the great sex I've been having and announce that the procedure I had just before Christmas successfully got rid of my kidney stones. Things are good…between enjoying the last few weeks and recovering from surgery, I haven’t taken the time to write. I will. But for now…I must reflect on 2011 for a minute.

You might remember I posted my Wish List for 2011 around this time last year. It only makes sense to check in on those wishes.

The List

Fall in love

This is happening. I dated a ton this year and despite the ups and downs, the heartbreak, the frustration, the sometimes irresponsible or bad decisions, I enjoyed the process as always. Then I went on a date in October and met a great guy.

Get back in shape and stay that way

I fell off the wagon a few times, but overall, I think I accomplished this one. Do I always think I should be eating better and working out more? Of course, but as long as I stay pretty consistent, I’m happy with this one.

Take more weekend trips

I’m so happy to say I definitely accomplished this! The proof is in the photos!

March - Jacksonville, FL for my cousin's bachelorette party

March - Tampa, FL for the Zac Brown Band/Kenny Chesney concert

April - Buffalo, NY to visit my sister, niece and nephew

May - St. Pete, FL with the girls

May - Stillwater, MN with the family for my cousin's wedding

July - Anaheim, CA for work but was also super fun!

September - Traverse City, MI to visit my cousin

November - Savannah, GA with the girls

Find a new job that makes me happy

Success! The best part is that I didn’t even have to leave the company I worked for. In March, I was lucky enough to get a huge promotion and be part of a huge shift in our company structure and work environment. Very exciting!

Volunteer 

I dropped the ball on this one. I have so much respect for people who make the time to do this on a regular basis.

Cook more (or attempt to anyway)

Haha…nope. Despite buying a Crock Pot at the beginning of the year and constantly pinning recipes on Pinterest, I did NOT cook more this year. What is it going to take to get me going on this one?

Go camping (I’ve been wanting to go for years!)

I never went camping. Booo.

Stay out of the hospital. This means no kidney stones or rare throat infections. Just be healthy.

Well, if you follow my blog at all, you know this didn’t come true. Unfortunately, being prone to kidney stones means getting rid of them once doesn’t mean they won’t come back. Between that and breaking my finger in kickball (I know…) I can’t say that I stayed out of the hospital/doctor office as much as I wanted to. Luckily this last kidney stone procedure was successful and as long as no new ones develop, 2012 should be much better in that regard!

Overall, I’d say I was pretty successful where it counts. I’ve learned that health issues and tragedies are part of life. You can do all the right things and bad things might still happen, you just have to roll with it and not let it define you.

I’ll be ringing in 2012 with the man in my life. We are getting dressed up and going to a party his boss is throwing. 2011 is ending on a joyful note and I know 2012 will be fabulous in ways I can’t even imagine.

Do I have a wish list for 2012? I don’t. I don’t even have a resolution. Of course there are things I’d like to improve on like saving money, eating better and reading more, but I don’t really have any specific resolutions.

And since I am blogging at the very last minute, I need to start getting ready! What are your NYE plans? Any resolutions?

I hope you all have a happy and safe New Year!

The New Man in my Life

I have a boyfriend. I am in an actual relationship. I started seeing him a little over a month ago. Here are the basics:

 

How we met: eHarmony

Age: 31

Occupation: Operations Manager for a wine retailer

I have to admit that at first, I was very apprehensive about this one. To say that he is unlike anyone I’ve dated is an understatement. We have different views on a lot of things and we’ve both lived very different lives. He isn’t a typical guy in the sense that he isn’t afraid to talk about things and say what’s on his mind. Like me, he is very enthusiastic, energetic and positive.

For some reason, I’ve spent a long time thinking I needed someone a little more opposite personality-wise…someone a little more calm and subdued. I also had a lot of concerns about how we would fit together in light of the differences in our religious views and family life. Did I voice those concerns? You bet. I’m realizing that the differences are okay. He is not what I thought I wanted, but sometimes that’s what makes for a great relationship. I mean, what we want and what we need can be very different things, right?

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Instead of focusing on our differences, I started to focus on the things we have in common and the things he brings to our relationship, things I haven’t been able to find in others. One night last week, he came over to cook dinner and after we ate, I suggested we play Twister. He laughed at me, but we played and had a blast! On Sunday, I told him I wanted to have a picnic. We spent the day in the Winter Park, playing Frisbee, laying in the grass talking, napping and drinking champagne and ended the day with a lovely meal and lots of wine at Luma on Park. He is totally on board with doing fun, spontaneous, maybe even silly things with me and we have such a blast together. It's very comfortable and easy when we are together. I like that. 

The Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating

I know you are probably already laughing because I am by no means in a position to offer dating advice or pretend I am any kind of expert on this, especially judging from my lack of success after being on eHarmony off and on for the past two years or so. But anyway…

I’ve had a few friends who’ve recently decided to jump on the online dating bandwagon and give it a shot. They obviously came straight to me to gossip about the process and I found myself talking them through the first emails, first meetings and what not. I may not have found the love of my life on eHarmony yet, but I have come away with lots of thoughts on what to do and more importantly, what NOT to do.

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Do try to include a variety of photos that allow your personality to shine through. This allows matches to get a good idea of how you look and may learn about you a little at the same time.

Don’t and I repeat, DON’T include a photo of you taking a picture of yourself in the mirror. Guys, this is a thousand times worse when you are shirtless. No matter what you really have to offer someone, a "mirror pic" makes you come across as a complete tool. Take five minutes and ask someone to take a picture of you for goodness sake.

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Do go at your own pace. Depending on the person, it may take you several emails and weeks of communicating before you are ready to meet in person. That is okay. You’ll know when you feel comfortable and are ready to take that next step.

Don’t get turned off if someone tries to move forward before you are ready. For example, you may want to exchange a few emails before moving to calling/texting. If they suggest this before you are ready, don’t be completely turned off, but simply respond by saying you’d like to get to know each other a little better before then. They will understand and if they don’t, they probably aren’t worth moving forward with, anyway.

Do trust your instincts. You are going to be matched with a ton of great people. Don’t feel like you have to communicate with everyone. Don’t feel like everyone you talk to, you are obligated to meet. If you aren’t digging someone via email, there isn’t a huge chance you are going to hit it off in person. Don’t force it. If you aren’t feeling it, don’t waste your time or theirs.

Don’t get offended. Rejection is never fun, whether someone stops communicating with you immediately or you start dating and they break things off down the road. Don’t take it personally. Online dating has a lot of great perks like matching you with people you have things in common with, but it has the same downfalls as when you meet someone organically. Someone you like may not like you back. Don’t get offended, but appreciate their honesty and know that there is someone better suited out there for you.

Do enjoy the process. One thing I’ve heard from my friends is how overwhelming it is. I remember the feeling well…you are getting loads of matches and you start to feel like you need a personal assistant to manage your account. Try not to get too wrapped up in “What do I do?” or “What if?” Just go with the flow and enjoy the experience.

Don’t be embarrassed. You’ve seen the commercials and heard the ads. Online dating is pretty common these days. It’s not something to be embarrassed by or ashamed of. If anything, it shows you are adventurous, willing to try new things and open-minded. Go you!

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Do be smart and cautious. Online dating sites (or at least in my experience, eHarmony) don’t have near as many creepers as you are afraid of. However, to be on the safe side, be cautious when you are meeting someone for the first time. It goes without saying that you should plan to meet in a very public place, like a bar or coffee shop. I always make sure at least a few of my family members or friends know where I am going and what time we are meeting. For the most part, I recommend those first few meetings you drive separately and meet there. It might be different with every person you meet, but you’ll know when you feel comfortable enough to move forward.

Don’t say, “Online dating doesn’t work” if you haven’t met the love of your life after three months. When I first joined eHarmony many, many moons ago (hahaha), I joined for three months and never went on one date…not even a phone call. You may not meet someone special, or anyone at all in the time you spend on whichever site, but focus on what you did get out of it. I know for me, being on eHarmony has really helped me understand not only what I am looking for out of a relationship, but also what I have to offer someone. At the very least, it’s a great life experience and gives you a lot of insight on what you do want out of a relationship.

There you have it. The dos and don’ts of online dating. For those of you have tried it, any thing to you want to add to the list???