Just Write

I'm sitting on our back porch this evening and it's a glorious 73 degrees outside. I'm enjoying the most beautiful breeze and the sun is shining so bright through the trees it is nearly blinding but it doesn't bother me a bit. I'm also sipping a glass of red wine and even though Jonathan just asked me if I want to go to the gym, I'm not giving up on this glass of wine.

See, I have the urge to write and as strong as it is, I just don't know what to say. I have so many blog ideas that pop into my head throughout the day and it seems as soon as I sit down to get it out, I have nothing interesting to say. The ideas are there, but the words...they either aren't there or they feel forced.

There is no better feeling to me than sitting down to write and watching the words just flow right out. It still happens to me quite often and it's the reason I still have this blog...it's the reason I can say with certainty that I will always write. It's also the reason I sometimes have a difficult time blogging.

See, I want to write random posts that don't say anything particularly important about myself, I want to link up for Wedding Wednesday and share our beautiful day, but I don't enjoy those posts nearly as much as I enjoy sharing my honest thoughts on what's going on in my life. The only problem is, I don't want to be constantly pouring my heart out here for the world to see. Don't get me wrong, I don't just mean the not so happy stuff, but the good things, too...the absolutely wonderful things. Even as a blogger, I still worry about sharing too much. I love the thought of writing about and documenting my relationship...my marriage, where I stand on having children and how I feel about my career, but I also know that some things aren't meant to be shared with the world.

I don't worry about being criticized for anything I say. As a matter of fact, I know that the great thing about blogging is that no matter what you  have to say, there are others out there who will relate to it, learn from it, connect with you because of it. I guess I struggle because as much as I love the idea of sharing these things, I also value the importance of keeping certain things private.

I also think blog posts sharing what we did over the weekend, wedding details, my views on BuzzFeed quizzes and other light-hearted topics are absolutely necessary as well. Nobody wants to read a deep, thought-provoking and honest post day in and day out. There's gotta be a little bit of both.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm struggling as a blogger lately. I want to find that balance where I'm still getting the joy and fulfillment I need out of writing all while maintaining some level of privacy in my life.

I know it's easy to wonder why it matters, why I should obviously keep all details of my life to myself rather than posting it for the world to see, even why anyone blogs at all. But it matters to me. I love writing and sharing, even if it with the small following I have here. I don't claim to be a big deal blogger or even a legendary writer. What I write on here may not matter to anyone other than me and that's okay. I just need to make sure I'm doing it in a way that satisfies me and my passion. Maybe I just need to say what I want to say, share what I want to share and not worry about sharing too much. I don't know.

Does anyone else struggle with this sometimes? How do you find a balance with your blog topics?