My return from an unintentional blogging break

Well, there I went and took another unintentional blogging break. I have no reasonable excuse other than the fact that I forgot to blog for a few weeks and when I would try to convince myself to come home from work and write something - anything, I just couldn't even bring myself to sit down at the computer. Writing is a lot like exercise for me. It's a good habit and once I get into a habit, I can't imagine not doing it. But just like exercise, if I take a few weeks off, it gets harder and harder to get myself to start again. The good news is my exercise routine is on point right now so it's time to turn my attention to writing and bring this blog to life again.

The timing couldn't be better. After a weekend full of social events and festivities, I'm enjoying my Labor Day at home alone while Jonathan is working. I feel like it's been a hectic several months, but then again I think I always feel that way. Anyway, I am enjoying having nothing I really have to do today. I got up and went to boot camp, picked up groceries and planned our meals for the week, cleaned up around the house, watched an episode of Friends and before I knew it, I had a few hours to kill before starting dinner. It was like the stars aligned and I knew I just needed to hop on the opportunity to pay a visit to this deserted place I love so much.

I haven't blogged since what, June? We have lots to catch up on and I'll get you all up to speed eventually, but right now I just want to share what's on my heart today. 

I used to keep a gratitude journal by my bed and it was my intention every night to make a short list of things I was thankful for before I crawled into bed each night. It was a good habit and I need to pick it back up. No matter what went on each day, it helped me focus on all good things before drifting off to sleep. I'm going to make every effort to get back into this habit so today, I am using this blog as my gratitude journal. Right now, here are just a few of the things I'm feeling ever so grateful for.

• I mentioned Jonathan had to work today. I woke up not long after he left for the day and came into the kitchen to find the book in the photo above and his coffee mug sitting on the kitchen table. I didn't roll my eyes because this husband of mine didn't clean up after himself. Instead, I smiled to myself because in his every day rush to get out the door this morning, this man I love so much sat down to enjoy his coffee and spend a few minutes reading His Word. He then texted me a while later telling me he left the book out for me to read the same pages. I'm so thankful not only for his faith, but for him helping me and inspiring me to grow stronger in my faith. 
• We've spent the last few days having all kinds of fun with friends and family. After a double date with my friend, Laura and her soon-to-be hubby on Friday night and an awesome day/night with Jonathan's group of friends from high school and their significant others, I feel so lucky to have such great friendships in our lives. I'm especially thankful that Jonathan's friends have become mine and visa versa and that their significant others are women I'm so proud and lucky to call my friends. We closed our weekend with a birthday celebration for my dad and it goes without saying that I am forever grateful for our family.
• I'm super thankful for Pinterest. I feel like I was over it for a while and just didn't have any desire to hop on and pin away. Lately, with a few things we want to do in the house, I've been back on looking for inspiration and ideas and it's like I've fallen in love with it all over again. 
• It's September and while the weather doesn't exactly change for the better quite yet here in Orlando, just knowing it's only going to get better from here makes me really happy. With summer ending, it means Jonathan will start to slow down a bit at work and we have a lot of fun things to look forward to in the next few months. 
• I'm thankful for God's love and grace. I can be stubborn and impatient and I have a hard time finding strength and patience when things don't go the way I planned. I'm thankful because He knows my heart and he loves me anyway. He also knows what he's doing in our lives and he's got it under control. Knowing this brings me peace and comfort in those moments of frustration and impatience.

I think I'll leave it that for now. I hope you've all enjoyed the long weekend. Let's make it a great week!

Just Write

I'm sitting on our back porch this evening and it's a glorious 73 degrees outside. I'm enjoying the most beautiful breeze and the sun is shining so bright through the trees it is nearly blinding but it doesn't bother me a bit. I'm also sipping a glass of red wine and even though Jonathan just asked me if I want to go to the gym, I'm not giving up on this glass of wine.

See, I have the urge to write and as strong as it is, I just don't know what to say. I have so many blog ideas that pop into my head throughout the day and it seems as soon as I sit down to get it out, I have nothing interesting to say. The ideas are there, but the words...they either aren't there or they feel forced.

There is no better feeling to me than sitting down to write and watching the words just flow right out. It still happens to me quite often and it's the reason I still have this blog...it's the reason I can say with certainty that I will always write. It's also the reason I sometimes have a difficult time blogging.

See, I want to write random posts that don't say anything particularly important about myself, I want to link up for Wedding Wednesday and share our beautiful day, but I don't enjoy those posts nearly as much as I enjoy sharing my honest thoughts on what's going on in my life. The only problem is, I don't want to be constantly pouring my heart out here for the world to see. Don't get me wrong, I don't just mean the not so happy stuff, but the good things, too...the absolutely wonderful things. Even as a blogger, I still worry about sharing too much. I love the thought of writing about and documenting my relationship...my marriage, where I stand on having children and how I feel about my career, but I also know that some things aren't meant to be shared with the world.

I don't worry about being criticized for anything I say. As a matter of fact, I know that the great thing about blogging is that no matter what you  have to say, there are others out there who will relate to it, learn from it, connect with you because of it. I guess I struggle because as much as I love the idea of sharing these things, I also value the importance of keeping certain things private.

I also think blog posts sharing what we did over the weekend, wedding details, my views on BuzzFeed quizzes and other light-hearted topics are absolutely necessary as well. Nobody wants to read a deep, thought-provoking and honest post day in and day out. There's gotta be a little bit of both.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm struggling as a blogger lately. I want to find that balance where I'm still getting the joy and fulfillment I need out of writing all while maintaining some level of privacy in my life.

I know it's easy to wonder why it matters, why I should obviously keep all details of my life to myself rather than posting it for the world to see, even why anyone blogs at all. But it matters to me. I love writing and sharing, even if it with the small following I have here. I don't claim to be a big deal blogger or even a legendary writer. What I write on here may not matter to anyone other than me and that's okay. I just need to make sure I'm doing it in a way that satisfies me and my passion. Maybe I just need to say what I want to say, share what I want to share and not worry about sharing too much. I don't know.

Does anyone else struggle with this sometimes? How do you find a balance with your blog topics?