Choosing joy.

It's been a long week. I'm not crazy about talking about sad topics on this blog, but sometimes it's necessary.

On Monday I went to visit my grandmother for what is probably the last time. After battling cancer on and off for several years, she decided to stop receiving treatment and doesn't have much longer. 

I woke up the next day with a cold and found myself being a major Debbie Downer as Jonathan and I talked later that night. He jokingly called me out on it and I'm glad he did. I have every right to be upset sometimes, but being upset doesn't make it okay to be negative.

I guess I tend to let a lot of little things get to me, then something big comes along and sends me over the edge. Lately, I've been letting things have control over me; things like medical bills, roommate issues, work concerns. Then I have to say goodbye to my Nana and all those little things I've been stressing about come to the surface along with it.

I need to stop getting upset about things beyond my control. I need to be content with the fact that I'm doing the best I can and let it go. If it is in my control, I need to stop complaining about it and do something to change it.

I need to choose joy. I need to practice what I preach and "count my rainbows, not my thunderstorms."

I need to dance it out when I feel stressed, I need to pray for strength when I don't feel strong enough, I need to rise above the negativity.

I've been given this beautiful life to live and I am so blessed. I need to focus on the blessings.