What I'm Loving Lately: 'Me Time'

One of my goals this year was to be better about carving out time for just me and because of this, I've been reading more, exercising at home more and unwinding at night in more creative ways than just laying in bed watching TV. Here's what I've been into lately:

Reading: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson. I'd seen a few people talking about this book on social media and the title obviously intrigued me enough to look into it a little more. I have to admit I buy the occasional self improvement book and lose interest in it pretty quickly but this one seemed like it'd be different. I honestly thought both Jonathan and I could benefit a lot from reading this and I was pretty shocked when he was halfway through the book before I'd even picked it up. 

We've actually had this sitting on our coffee table along with a few other books and I had to laugh when my sister-in-law was over and pointed out how funny it was that we had this book sitting right there with Jesus Calling, a daily devotional book we've been getting a lot of recently. I guess I didn't really think about how ironic that is but hey, we like to mix it up! 

I feel like I should point out that the author of this book isn't necessarily recommending we not care at all about anything, but that there are only so many things we can care about so we need to figure out which ones really matter. It's a good read so far and to be honest, it makes me realize that the times I've been my happiest in life have been when I wasn't so concerned about things that really shouldn't matter to me. 

Listening to: S-Town Podcast. I just started this at the gym earlier this week so I can't really give an opinion on it yet. I was pretty behind the times with the whole podcast craze. I finally listened to Serial while nursing Emma last fall and recently got hooked on Up and Vanished, which I highly recommend! I love listening while I run so if you have a favorite podcast, please share it with me!

Coloring: Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project Mini Posters Coloring Book. I'm a big fan of Gretchen Rubin and her books, but I had no idea this coloring book existed until recently. This kind of thing is right up my alley! It's fun to flip through and I love that when you're done with a page, you can rip it out and hang it up or even give it to someone who could use encouragement or cheering up.

Reading/Writing: Pressing Pause: 100 Quiet Moments for Moms to Meet with Jesus. I can't say enough about this! I was looking for something like this just for me. Something a little less intense than my bible study homework but I wanted something more than a reading each day and I wanted something relevant to my life right now. I wanted prompts with space for me to reflect and write out my response to what I read. This is exactly what I was looking for! I love it so much, I immediately bought it for my friend Jesse knowing she'd love it too. 

I may not be a huge influencer, but I like writing posts like this! When I find something I like, I want to share it so I might do more of these in the future. I've discovered a lot of books, products, etc. through other blogs - it's fun! 

What are you reading/listening to lately?

Extending Grace in Marriage

Several months ago, I won a copy of "Team Us: Marriage Together" by Ashleigh Slater in a giveaway Lisa hosted on her blog. She gave it a great review and I couldn't wait to read it. I received the book in the mail just a few days later and it proceeded to sit on my bedside table for a few months before I finally picked it up and finished it in just a few days. It was a quick read but full of some really great insight on marriage.

It's been months since I sped through the book and while I really enjoyed all the insights on marriage Ashleigh has to offer, especially the discussion questions at the end of each chapter, there is one topic I continue to reflect on months and months later.

Grace. 

It's a word we hear and throw around a lot, but this chapter really helped me refocus on the meaning of grace in my faith and also, in our marriage.

The author reminds us of the meaning of grace, "disposition to to or an act of kindness, courtesy, or clemency" and that it is foundational to our salvation, therefore it should be foundational to our marriages.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9)

God extends grace to us daily, without restrictions, conditions or limits. We should strive to do right and do good, but his grace is given to us for free no matter the circumstance. I remember reading this chapter and really allowing that to sink in. I read it over and over again and spent a few moments basking in how amazing this fact is.

She goes on to say, "We decided that we wouldn't withhold it from one another or force the other to earn it. We'd give it freely to each other, just as we'd received it from the Lord."

I got to thinking about times I could extend a little more grace to Jonathan.

He can be a little forgetful. He forgets names, forgets to tell me he made plans for us next Friday night and if you ask him when my birthday is, he might give you a guilty smile and ask you if if it's May 12th, 1986. If you know him, you absolutely know that his forgetting isn't intentional and it doesn't mean he doesn't care.

It never fails. At the end of every day, I'm likely to find his clothes from the day sitting on the end of our dresser. Whether the clothes are clean or dirty, he takes them off and puts them in the same spot.

Early in our relationship, I can count too many times where I let these little things irritate me. We'd end up double booked on a Friday night because I told him we had plans and he'd commit us to something else and I'd give him a hard time for forgetting. There was a time I might have made a sarcastic comment as I picked his clothes up off the dresser, asking him why on earth he walk a little further to the closet where our laundry basket is and drop his clothes in there.

It didn't take long for me to learn to let these simple things roll off my shoulders. In those forgetful moments, I try to remember that Jonathan has a lot on his plate. He is busy running two successful businesses, strategically managing our finances and setting us up for a truly incredible future, he is constantly thinking and working on bettering our lives and helping others. If he forgets a thing here and there, how can I be bothered by that knowing all of the other things on his mind?

As for the clothes on the dresser, it's so much easier for me to enjoy that quirk than it is for me to be bothered by it. God brought this hardworking, supportive, loving man into my life and I still can't believe I'm married to him. His days are spent working harder than most can imagine and if at the end of the day, he is so ready to get in bed that he doesn't want to walk to the laundry basket, I can't blame him a bit. I love him and want to strive to make life easier on each other. If I can make his life easier by cleaning up after him here and there, why wouldn't I?

I love how the author mentions two important things about practicing grace in marriage:

1. Practicing grace doesn't mean anything goes. It doesn't mean you turn a blind eye to each other's sins. 
2. Deciding to practice grace and actually doing it aren't the same thing. She points out that even though her and her husband are determined to extend grace, it's not always easy and doesn't always happen.

I'm glad she mentions these points. It would be big fat lie if I told you I never get irritated with my husband. While I make an effort everyday to extend grace, I'm certainly not perfect and the author is absolutely right, practicing grace doesn't mean we shouldn't call each other out on certain things. On that note, I'm sure of my own little habits and imperfections that require Jonathan to extend grace to me daily and I'm thankful for his grace and acceptance of my quirks.

I'm far from calling myself an expert on marriage and I guarantee I never will. I know for certain though, that in the day-to-day moments when I could become irritated with my husband and instead, choosing to give him the benefit of the doubt and extend a little grace has made all the difference in the world.

Tell me...

• What situations have you experienced where you could have extended grace, but didn't?
• How do you strive to see past the trivial quirks that might normally bother you in your relationships?
• What books on relationships and marriage have you read that stuck with you?